i’m sitting here trying to think of what to write and the word in my mind is “force.” this has such force and ferocity… but also it has heart because it is JW so of course it does.
I advocate reading this, and then drinking a lot of tea until you are bursting for a piss, then reading it again, slowly, absorbing the meaning and the pain and the atmosphere of the place so disgustingly captured by these excellent word choices. I love the occaisional mad word in here - like squelched.
Its so gripping so urgent - the pressure and then the sweet release - but what is the SOurce, what is this world - this is just not enough to leave me satisfied!
It is a tremendous feat to write so evocatively that I physically feel all the distention of Julius’s denial of self and satisfaction. Truly great stuff.
I completely agree. The writing in this isn’t just flourishes and showing off… it’s doing what writing should do—take us all the way there—make us really feel it. This piece is so infused with its own ideas that the images sweat!
Absolutely! Every word is as necessary a drop of liquid in the vessel as the others to fill us up right to the spilling point, I’m so mesmerized by it.
Intense work, James. One suggestion: consider bringing Julius’s mother in earlier—her absence is felt, but her late arrival limits the emotional payoff. Also, by the midpoint, the prose becomes so dense and unrelenting that it risks overwhelming the reader. A shift in rhythm or tone could give the later sections more impact.
Even though I disagree about the prose density at the end, I think it is wonderful that you are speaking your mind and digging into the text. We are often so awfully nice around here, and hard core feedback feels like water on a thirst. I'd like to hear more of your thoughts on the other Sum Flux stories, Michael!
I love how meticulously crafted each sentence is, and how you stretch 'em to the max, just before they burst. You never go too far with it. It always feels right. Meaty sentences are tough. You have to have a good sense of language to be able to pull them off, but you seem to do it effortlessly here! Truly impressive, especially the first line in the last paragraph. Wonderful writing, James!
So many thoughts and emotions - I really felt all of Julius' discomfort. You're a wizard with words. From now on, any time I have an issue with someone I'm telling them "You are a blockage in my network, Brother."
Easy to read but not easy on the soul, or body. I could feel the agony of it, both the unrelenting discomfort on the bowels, bladder and all but also the spiritual disease denying himself of his nature. Your beautiful prose did a lot of heavy lifting here to bring me to these places, magnificent work!
My favourite thing of yours I've read - its a boiling mass of visceral word soup - I love it when the words/theme/ and form are all rolling around together in a celebration of function. It's relentless, which is clearly the intent, and the sense of relief at the end is palpable for the reader and the protagonist. Immersive storytelling to the max.
I am banging my head against the walls trying to find the WORD for what you are describing here, Steve! What is it called. I agree with everything you are saying...
I went in thinking the source meant something like piety and my impression at the end wasn't far off. themes of institutional control/weaponized faith + Julius's internal conflict, observing his duties out of necessity while being ostracized and resenting his role.
also, I imagine his mother led some insurrectionist group to expose the state but ultimately capitulated to protect Julius. she tried to set him on the "just" path but his skepticism, queer identity and discovery of his mother's past doomed him to the same fate.
I want a whole book about Julius and/or this setting. A Canticle for Leibowitz, but replace Catholicism (about which I know very little) with bowel movements and shame (subjects near and dear, respectively, to my heart)!
*squirt
Fantastic James. You went there and it was wonderful.
i’m sitting here trying to think of what to write and the word in my mind is “force.” this has such force and ferocity… but also it has heart because it is JW so of course it does.
You’ve perfectly captured what it is I try to emulate with my fiction. I really appreciate this, thank you EJ.
I advocate reading this, and then drinking a lot of tea until you are bursting for a piss, then reading it again, slowly, absorbing the meaning and the pain and the atmosphere of the place so disgustingly captured by these excellent word choices. I love the occaisional mad word in here - like squelched.
Its so gripping so urgent - the pressure and then the sweet release - but what is the SOurce, what is this world - this is just not enough to leave me satisfied!
Greatness! Madness!
It is a tremendous feat to write so evocatively that I physically feel all the distention of Julius’s denial of self and satisfaction. Truly great stuff.
I completely agree. The writing in this isn’t just flourishes and showing off… it’s doing what writing should do—take us all the way there—make us really feel it. This piece is so infused with its own ideas that the images sweat!
Absolutely! Every word is as necessary a drop of liquid in the vessel as the others to fill us up right to the spilling point, I’m so mesmerized by it.
Well said!
This is loveliest feedback I could possibly receive, thank you very much. I'm positively overflowing
Lmfao this was disturbing in the best way!
Intense work, James. One suggestion: consider bringing Julius’s mother in earlier—her absence is felt, but her late arrival limits the emotional payoff. Also, by the midpoint, the prose becomes so dense and unrelenting that it risks overwhelming the reader. A shift in rhythm or tone could give the later sections more impact.
Thanks for the feedback, Michael! I'd say the overwhelming prose was intentional but certainly not to everyone's taste. Thanks for reading!
Even though I disagree about the prose density at the end, I think it is wonderful that you are speaking your mind and digging into the text. We are often so awfully nice around here, and hard core feedback feels like water on a thirst. I'd like to hear more of your thoughts on the other Sum Flux stories, Michael!
I will read more. This is high-quality work by James. There are no rules for how much prose density is too much, but there is syncopation.
Pacing is, indeed always incredibly important.
I love how meticulously crafted each sentence is, and how you stretch 'em to the max, just before they burst. You never go too far with it. It always feels right. Meaty sentences are tough. You have to have a good sense of language to be able to pull them off, but you seem to do it effortlessly here! Truly impressive, especially the first line in the last paragraph. Wonderful writing, James!
So many thoughts and emotions - I really felt all of Julius' discomfort. You're a wizard with words. From now on, any time I have an issue with someone I'm telling them "You are a blockage in my network, Brother."
Oh, good one, Ashley!
“Splinters in the forehead” made me squirm in the best way
Goddamn.
Easy to read but not easy on the soul, or body. I could feel the agony of it, both the unrelenting discomfort on the bowels, bladder and all but also the spiritual disease denying himself of his nature. Your beautiful prose did a lot of heavy lifting here to bring me to these places, magnificent work!
Incredible writing. The way the vocabulary fits the setting makes it so satisfying to read
I keep searching for the word that describes this…
This was intense and evocative. I could almost feel everything Brother Julius endured. So good.
My favourite thing of yours I've read - its a boiling mass of visceral word soup - I love it when the words/theme/ and form are all rolling around together in a celebration of function. It's relentless, which is clearly the intent, and the sense of relief at the end is palpable for the reader and the protagonist. Immersive storytelling to the max.
I am banging my head against the walls trying to find the WORD for what you are describing here, Steve! What is it called. I agree with everything you are saying...
I know - I had to use like thirty to describe how I felt… if we were German we’d have one nice big compound verb for totalimmersionverbageexperince
Ok, now I am going to look up the German word.
abbildende Darstellung: depictive representation (I'm not as excited about this as I'd hoped... German let me down... how about the word "mimetic"?
Hmmm - close - how about Mimesis - itself and of itself, mimicking and replicating in form… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mimesis
I think that's what we've got in English... sounds a little fancy, but it's probably the word!
this is my favorite thing that’s ever happened under a story of mine
This is really incredible praise, thank you very much!!
I went in thinking the source meant something like piety and my impression at the end wasn't far off. themes of institutional control/weaponized faith + Julius's internal conflict, observing his duties out of necessity while being ostracized and resenting his role.
also, I imagine his mother led some insurrectionist group to expose the state but ultimately capitulated to protect Julius. she tried to set him on the "just" path but his skepticism, queer identity and discovery of his mother's past doomed him to the same fate.
outstanding work, jw.
also, I have to pee.
also… i also had to pee. reading it made me feel physically uncomfortable and stirred up old guilt at past onanistic excesses.
the source continues to bedevil us heathens
troy, you always read my stuff with the sharpest eye. love this interpretation. thank you as always for sharing your thoughts(:
Such exquisite torture, I had to read it twice. I love that Julius disconnected on his own terms… and with such a glorious mess.
Holy shit.
No, really!
I want a whole book about Julius and/or this setting. A Canticle for Leibowitz, but replace Catholicism (about which I know very little) with bowel movements and shame (subjects near and dear, respectively, to my heart)!